A Starbucks Debachal

 

Public writing landed me in some hot water today–literally. I got my tea knocked over by a stranger at Starbucks when I managed to sneak out of the house and steal away to a more private–and rather public–setting away from my kids.

I was just minding my business, writing the next novel in my series, when this dude comes over, hears my random loud laughter and proceeds to lose his shit, tip my tea over, and luckily–or is it unluckily–manage to tea all over my clothes. Thankfully, my computer was unharmed in this process. My baby managed to be far enough away from clumsy random male bystander. So! What does clumsy random male bystander do? He tries to “help” me by wiping the tea off my shirt.

Okay guys. I’m a married woman. Happily married. So when clumsy random male bystander started to “help” me, I went into full WTF-mode. I also happened to be in character, so it helped me along in this very confusing 3-minute process of berating a total stranger.

Luckily, invasive and much-too-nosy male bystander was there to offer his two-cents about how this situation could have been easily handled to the lesser clumsy random male bystander. Awkwardly enough, he also gave me some pointers on how not to get tea’d on. Honestly, these unhelpful tips were what led to my next move of telling invasive and much-too-nosy male bystander that he should run along to his next charity case.

Note to self: do not piss off invasive and much-too-nosy male bystanders or face wrath from their just as invasive and much-too-nosy wives.

Suffice to say, I’m never writing at Starbucks again. Sigh. Chalk up today to a learning experience. Also, I got a free scone out of the deal. Random male bystander got me a replacement tea and scone as a “sorry I tea’d all over you clothes…here’s a scone.”

Truth About Writing–When You Have A Life

So as many of you may or may not know, I have a life–other than writing. Yes, I know. Shocking. But here’s the little truth about my experiences, thus far, with my writing and normal every day life.

One or the other ends up getting put on hold. The advantage of getting tunnel vision when I’m writing is that I can deck out five-thousand words a day easily. The bad news, mostly for my husband of so many years and three young children, is that I disappear into my computer. I become a mumbling, babbling mess of a woman until the nearby screams of attention FINALLY draw me away from my screen. It’s a battle. My kids happen to be very tenacious, and very up for the challenge.

So the real question is: how do you write and have a life? Is it possible, Brianna? Tell us about your brilliant steps towards having both–a family and a writing career. (Still sort of working on “writing career” part). Well, lemme tell you! I…haven’t really figured it out.

Instead, I’ve found that if I goal myself with writing every day–sort of like you do when NaNoWriMo comes about–then I have my story written and kids fed. The real task comes about when one or the other thing starts to take precedence. And in those cases, I’ve found, neglecting the lesser of the two seems to be the best course of action. And yes, lesser meaning writing because–come on–kids you can’t neglect; they won’t let you. Not mine anyway.

On the plus side, I’m still learning the ins and outs, dos and donts. I’m hardly an expert in this field. I also take to a lot of food therapy of the chocolatey sort. Cookies never did any harm. Okay, maybe a lot of harm since my extra love handles would beg to differ. Still, if I’m in a bind, I choose chocolate.

So I guess the moral of this little blog post is: when in doubt, choose chocolate and forget the rest. Who cares that you have a manuscript deadline hanging over your head or children barking at your feet for food? Chocolate solves the world’s problems. And mine, too.

Cover Reveal!

metamorphosisfinalcover

As I get closer to finishing the first draft of Metamorphosis, I have finished the book cover to begin promoting the second in the Promiscus Guardians Series!

Here’s a little bit of insider info; I do all the covers, formatting, editing, and coffee-making in this entire process. I have peers proofread, but for the most part, most of this process is carried out by yours truly.

And as a bit of a homage to my cover reveal, here’s an unedited excerpt of Metamorphosis!

“Bernard, you saved me,” Pavel said while walking the short distance to the cowboy’s side.

“Anything for you, baby,” Bernie answered, throwing an arm around the Russian and smiling in a way that was probably illegal in most countries.

“I think their bromance has transformed into full on gaymance,” I said to Lucas, who was unable to keep from smirking.

Yay me!

“Did you hear what she called us?” Bernie gasped, feigning shock while pressing a hand girlishly against his mouth.

Pavel turned towards Bernie with a bemused glance. “What does ‘gaymance’ even mean?”

“More importantly, which one of you is on top?” came another voice, immediately causing an internal leap of joy inside me. Carl moseyed over towards the group, tossing the two men a judgmental look, before shaking his head and sighing.

“Yeah, that is, indeed, a plaguing question,” I added, tapping my chin as if in deep contemplation. “They are both too beautifully masculine to know one way or another. Do you think they take turns?”

“Turns? In what?” Pavel asked, still not following our line of conversation.

Unfortunately for Blondie and his primary language, sometimes these disconnects happened. And extremely fortunate for me—the closet sadist—they were absolutely gloriously timed and perfectly entertaining. Every. Single. Fucking. Time!

“I hope not,” Carl said with another shake of his head, ignoring the confused Russian at his side. “Somehow, it seems insulting if my brother used the same face and body as mine to end up a bottom. Doesn’t seem right.”

Bernie’s face dropped with the insult. “As if a cowboy like myself would ever be on the bottom,” he replied, eyes glinting with frustration.

So being gay didn’t faze him but being a bottom did?

“Top, bottom…oh,” Pavel said, comprehension finally hitting him.

Seeing my opportunity rapidly approaching, my hand couldn’t grab my phone fast enough as Pavel’s face morphed from one emotion to the next.

Oh dear lord, it was glorious!

Before I could snap a picture, however, he was grabbing my phone and pocketing it with a speed that only Lucas could match.

Saw it here first folks! Happy waiting!

Coming to Print–at least I hope it does!

Sooooo delicious. Man-muscles. Oh! Sorry, venture down to read my little blurb.

bookcoverfinal4

So you’re asking yourself, why an ebook and not a print, Brianna? Well of course there will be a print, silly. So why not yet, you ask? It’s a little thing I’d like to call…formatting. And it’s a bitch. Actually, it’s amazing–I’m the bitch. And I’m lazy. Super lazy. So lazy, in fact, that the word doesn’t accurately describe the level of lazy I am.

After editing, then editing again, then re-editing, and then crying out in horror at the poor use of my one true love, comma, editing again. Effectively editing for the umpteenth time, I was finally ready to work on the print.

Well, I underestimated the world of print. I thought, “I’ve totally got this. Just click, click, then I’m done, right?” No-oh-ho-oh-oh! You’d think that, wouldn’t you? Naive little me did. I didn’t realize that it needed to be re-spaced, re-fonted, re-everything before I could make it print ready.

After hours of glaring at my computer and redoing the cover just so, I finally managed to get it looking, feeling, and appearing right. And then, I noticed a few errors in my writing–which prompted me to re-edit for the bagillionth time (and cry myself to sleep while holding a gluten-free, sugar-free cookie).

So at the end of this wonderful journey, my hair’s a mess, my teeth unbrushed, my kids unfed, my husband…well, something, and I’m just a tiny step closer to the final print of my book. With luck, and a little bribing, I’m sure it’ll be ready by the weekend.

Nothing fancy. Just my first novel. In print. In the flesh–or rather, in the binding. And I’ll look back and laugh at the crazy experience I had, using it to fuel the next book in the series and being a little smarter for it.

Watch my blog for the post when it goes live!

Living the dream…..kind of

So, I’ve managed to publish my first novel. The printed book due to be available sometime next week. Now what? I’m already well into the second book. I’ve edited the shiznit out of the first. I’m this close to world domination. So why do I have this frown on my face?

A little thing called PR. Or for those of you that like to use the big words, marketing. I’ve spent day in and day out marketing the hell out of this book, and while I’ve managed to garner some interest, I realized belatedly that the dream is a long way off.

Still, I’m optimistic–and relatively patient.

The dream is one you have to work for. I gathered that much when I saw all the “bestselling authors” marketing their books on Twitter. And I’ve managed to write the novel, which is half the battle, so I know that at least, I’ve got one foot forward–or two, depending on what day it is.

So, as a way of enlightening those of my fans that actually give two shiz about this author, I’ve created this blog/author page/marketing tool/way to secretly hone my narcissism. And while I take this journey into the world of writers, you’ll gain insight to this crazy romance author’s mind. Lucky you. I don’t take any responsibility to what may result of overexposure to my crazy, but I can promise that I often offer cake…brownies…cookies…and any other kind of absurdly sweet concoction to buy your love.

So, welcome to my blog.

Check out the ebook of Awakening

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